This week I did something I have never done before. I participated in a Mommy and Me class. I had my first two children within thirteen months of each other. Shortly after my second child was born I started watching my sisters’ daughter. Within another year I was watching my other sisters’ son. Needless to say I didn’t have the luxury of attending the Mommy and Me classes. In a blink of an eye I went from having no children to caring for five. I had my third child a little over two years ago so my plate definitely became full. Leaving my house during the day wasn’t an option. Life flew by. Three of the five children are now in school all day and my nephew is in pre-school three days a week. For the first time in seven years I am home with one child. A friend of mine suggested I start Mommy and Me. She assured me my daughter would love it. I wasn’t so sure, I would. Not because I wouldn’t enjoy some mother/daughter bonding time with my youngest child, because, I would. The thing holding me back was the fact that I would be going alone. I didn’t have a sidekick friend accompanying me. What if there were cliques and I didn’t fit in. What if I was underdressed, or overdressed, would they be whispering as I walked by? I think all women have an insecurity complex hiding inside of them. I make friends easily, I am not shy, but I still know how it is to feel out of place. This, is what I was hoping would not happen. I threw on a pair of khakis, put some makeup on, ran a brush through my hair, strapped the baby in her car seat and drove to the hall. I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by smiling mothers. I felt comfortable in the outfit I chose to wear. I wasn’t overdressed or underdressed. The first part of the session was puzzles. My daughter and I grabbed a few out of the storage bin, brought them to a table and put them together. It was exciting to see her enthusiastically putting the color coordinated puzzle together. I was beaming when she called out the colors correctly. After the puzzles we sat on the floor for music time. We swayed back and forth, snapping our fingers and clapping our hands, to kid friendly music. We walked around in a circle banging tambourines against our thighs while The Mickey Mouse Club song blared. I even engaged in small talk with other mothers. I felt good, my daughter was having fun and I was having a blast watching her having fun. The smile was still on my face when I got home. I felt a little blue knowing my other kids missed out on Mommy and Me. My smile quickly faded when I looked downward. The zipper of my khakis was down. Being the analyzer I am, I spent the rest of the day wondering when the zipper became unzipped. Was it down when I walked in? What about when I was walking in the circle banging the tambourine. Did I look like a complete idiot dancing about with my two year old while my fly was down? Did any of the other mother’s notice and were they waiting for me to leave to burst out laughing? It could have happened on the drive home which is what I am making myself believe. I will definitely be going back but this time I think I will opt for a piece of clothing that doesn’t have a zipper. But knowing my luck, I will decide to wear light colored pants, sit on a squashed candy bar, dance around to M-I-C-K-E-Y and only find out when another mother pulls me aside to quietly tell me.  

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