Fools

Remember every choice has a consequence. You may kid yourself by convincing yourself that a bad choice feels right. The bad choices are the easiest ones to make. It’s the right choices that feels like work.

You can fool some people but there are others who will always know your true intentions. Often, they are the ones that keep quiet.

Don’t fool yourself, you are not fooling them.

HAVE YOU HAD AN EXPERIENCE LIKE THIS?

Everyone reading this blog knows someone or of someone that died. We all grieve at some point, it’s one of life’s guarantees. There are supposedly stages of grieving and a process that individuals go through that eventually leads them to acceptance. Many of you know I lost my father recently and to be honest I could write a blog a day about him for the rest of my life and still never get sick of writing about him.

Lisa Williams was in our area earlier this week. My sisters, a friend and her mother and myself decided to go. Lisa is a medium/clairvoyant who claims she can speak to spirits. I was raised that you should not believe in psychics or fortune tellers and should not consult them with concerns about the future. I want to say upfront I agree with this. The future is not ours to see and if it was, I don’t want someone else telling me what mine will be. I am however a very spiritual being and believe that once we die our spirit goes to a different dimension which I happen to believe is heaven or the roads to heaven. I believe because we are all of spirit there is a way to connect with the energy of those who passed, because, the spirit doesn’t die. Which is what Lisa Williams does.

I promise at a later time, I will devote a blog to the evening spent with Lisa Williams, my father came through and in a big way. I am a very symbolic person and I do not believe in Coincidence. To me all things happen for a reason and All Things Are Possible With God! After my father’s death, I looked for signs that he was okay or just reassurances that he was still with us in spirit. I found many.

One that I will share today is the deliverance of Honeysuckle. My father loved honeysuckle and when my sister and I were little girls he would take us to the honeysuckle bush in his backyard, pull off the bud and tell us we can sample the sap it produced. It didn’t have much of a taste but it was certainly sweet in a smooth way. Fast-forward thirty years, we are sitting in his hospital room, he just died and I whisper to my older sister, “I wish I asked Daddy what his favorite flower was.” I had forgotten about his love of the honeysuckle. After I returned home I cried all night into the early morning hours. Day was just about to break and I walked into my backyard. I looked up into the sky and just stared hoping I would see some type of sign from him. I knew our bond was strong enough to cross a universe and I was expecting to see something. I wasn’t expecting to smell something.

A breeze blew past me and an overwhelming smell enveloped me. I sniffed at the air, I knew the smell was familiar but I couldn’t recall what it was. The realization of what it was spun my head around, I looked into his backyard (we were neighbors), and there in full bloom was his honeysuckle bush. I immediately knew that it was his energy I  felt. He was letting me know his favorite flower by wrapping the scent around me. A feeling of elation zipped through my body and I was certain that we connected. I don’t need science to prove it for me, that’s the nice thing about faith, once you have it you believe.

I am sure many people have had similar occurrences and maybe some feel funny about sharing them because they are afraid that the skeptics will take away from the greatness of that moment. The purpose of this blog post is to encourage others to share their experiences, signs or connections they received from loved ones who have passed. Please leave a comment if you have had an experience of your own. I would love to read about it.

SEARCHING

There is a funny thing that happens when someone you love dies. You start searching for them. I noticed myself doing this more recently. I stare longer at the older man slowly crossing the street using his cane for support. For a brief moment, I swear it is my father and remember what it felt like to watch him walk across my path. While getting routine blood work today a man with very kind eyes sat across from me. Both of us sat with arms extended while the nurse searched for a vein to stick a needle in. He looked at me and smiled and I saw my father in his eyes. I immediately recalled my father and the fight he gave. In the end, his veins blew out from all of the blood work. I would sit next to him and advise the nurse to try his hand instead of his arms. I hear a song on the radio and I swear he played it for me. The lyrics become his voice and the song becomes his teaching. I search the children’s face, trying to catch a glimpse of him and smile when I see it. I ask myself a question and then answer it in the way I think he would. Photographs are priceless and when I look at them long enough I can quickly remember what it felt like to hold his hand, kiss his cheek, rub his shoulder or listen to him breathe. I get excited before I fall asleep hoping I will see him. I think dreams are the closest we have to understanding how our spirit leaves our body once we are gone. In our dreams we are talking, living, seeing but yet our body lays in a bed. My father’s spirit has been released and if I am lucky, our spirits meet up while I sleep. If that does not happen, then I will continue to search and hope I see a part of him in someone else and remember what it felt like to have him around.

Thursday Thirteen Sites

Thirteen Things about Maribeth

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When I need a break from the kiddo’s and a little time away from writing I visit a few of my favorite sites. This week I am listing thirteen sites I visit currently or have in the past. Do you have any favorites?

1… Dream Moods.com (I have mentioned many times on my blog that I frequent this site. I love interpreting my dreams and find this site very helpful.)

2… Thesaurus.com (You can’t be a writer without a thesaurus)

3… Colorgenics (If you have never tried colorgenics make sure after reading this you do. It is amazingly accurate.)

4… USA Today Daily Crossword (I love Crossword puzzles and this one is my favorite to do)

5…_411.com (It’s a quick way to look up a phone number. It even offers reverse phone look up-for those days you see an unfamiliar number on your caller id)

6… Pandora Radio (A great free music site. You can make your own library of music)

7…You Tube ( I use this every Friday for my Friday’s Song. If you haven’t stopped by on Friday’s yet be sure to in the future)

8…Youniverse (Another neat personality site)

9…Ebay (Love to browse here)

10… Wikipedia (Great fact checker)

11… Tickle E-mode (Can you tell I like personality tests?)

12… Classic Closeouts (Sometimes you can find great deals on name brand stuff here)

13… The Writer Mama’s Blog (I have to give her a plug because her September Giveaway is coming up and I cannot wait) be sure to stop by.

Have a great Thursday!

P.S. Check out my post Calling All Women and participate in the survey. I need replies for research I am doing.

Friday’s Song/The Rose

My mother’s favorite singer has always been Bette Midler and her favorite song The Rose.

This song has been playing in my mind for whatever reason the last few days and I wanted to hear it so I chose it for this week’s song.

My mother lost her best friend (my father) and is still trying to come to terms with that as we all are. She had a great love that some people will never have the opportunity to experience. He was the perfect rose that she stumbled upon. His seed has been planted, hopefully more roses will bloom for a long time to come.

 

Happy Friday. What are you listening to this week?

 

 

The rose

Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor, that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower, and you, its only seed

Its the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance
Its the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance
Its the one who wont be taken, the one who cant seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember that in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed, that with the suns love in the spring becomes the rose

HE’S GONE

MY FATHER DIED ON 6-8-08 AT 2:15 IN THE MORNING. I AM HAVING A VERY DIFFICULT TIME DEALING WITH HIS DEATH. I LOVED THAT MAN SO MUCH AND WAS VERY PROUD TO SAY HE WAS MY FATHER. I WAS HUMBLED TO SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE HE TOUCHED THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE. ROUGHLY 1000 PEOPLE SHOWED UP AT HIS VIEWING. MY FATHER WAS GENUINE, FUNNY, DEPENDABLE, WISE AND SUPER INTELLIGENT. HE WOULD COMMENT ON MY BLOGS AND EVEN PARTICIPATED IN A THURSDAY THIRTEEN. I AM ALSO DEVASTATED THAT HE DIED WITHOUT SEEING MY FOURTH CHILD WHICH WILL BE HERE ANY DAY NOW.
HIS DEATH AS HARD AS IT WAS FOR MY FAMILY AND I WAS BEAUTIFUL AND ONE DAY I WILL WRITE ABOUT IT. TODAY, I AM POSTING THE POEM I WROTE FOR HIM AFTER HIS DEATH.

DADDY,

Who will I be without you and who will guide me through?

There is no one to replace my Kong, he was only you.

I tried to be unselfish and release your soul to fly

But what I really wanted was for you to never die.

I will hear your words of wisdom gently whispered in my ear

I will feel your warmth surround me and know that you are near.

I will pass on your stories to your grandchildren with pride

I will be at peace knowing you are forever at my side

I will cherish simplicity and never ask for much more

I will try to follow your footsteps so I can reach the same door.

I saw you enter paradise and the excitement you had

I was surprised at how happy I was and not really all that sad.

The six of us released you to the people you longed to see

In the end, I know you will be there to welcome us, your cherished family.

Thursday Thirteen/Orange Things

THURSDAY THIRTEEN/GAME SHOWS

Thirteen Things about Maribeth Growing up, I loved to watch game shows. My mother was and still is very fond of game shows. Although, I haven’t the time to watch as much television these days as I did in the past, I still like to watch an occassional game show. This week I am listing thirteen games shows I have enjoyed, both past and present. 1…. Price Is Right (I still dream about being called on down. Switcheroo always seemed fun. I would love to spin the big wheel) 2… Tic Tac Dough (Loved this game, hated to see the dragon come up) 3… Press Your Luck (The original show was so much fun to watch. I loved to hate the whammy) 4… 10,000 Pyramid (I love any game that gives you clues and makes you guess the answer) 5… Concentration (players called out two numbers at a time to receive clues. They then had to attempt to guess the rebus) Loved this game, wish it was still on. 5… Wheel of Fortune (I once sent in a postcard hoping I would be chosen as a wheel participant. I think I am pretty good at this one) 6… Family Feud (I always told myself if my family was ever to go on this show I would have to be one of the two chosen for the final round) We had the home version, it was a blast having face-off’s with my sister. 7… Scrabble (I love the board game and loved the game show) 8… Let’s Make A Deal (Blast from the past-This was such a fun show) 9… Match Game (Celebrities helping the contestants by filling in the blanks-this was another great one) 10… Win Lose or Draw (I would have been good at guessing but not so well at drawing) 11… The Newlywed Game (Looking back I remember hearing the question-“How many times a week do you make Whoopee.” (Whoopee? funny stuff) 12… Name That Tune (Ooh I would have been terrible at this one) 13… Jeopardy (This is my game show of choice these days. At least I am learning something while watching this one) What is or was your favorite?

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Friday’s Song-You Are MY Sunshine

 

 

 

I have always been a Daddy’s girl. My father is a wonderful man and I am truly blessed. He had a favorite song he would sing to us when we were smaller. I can remember many nights on my father’s lap listening to him sing You are my sunshine. I felt safe, loved and happy. My dad is going through some things right now that require prayers. So let us rally together and pray for a great man.  He is my sunshine and without him, my days would sure be cloudy.

Happy Friday.

 

 

 

A BIRTHDAY WITH A TWIST

     Birthdays in my family are reason to celebrate. Another excuse to hang with the family, eat some good food, share a lot of laughs and make some silent wishes when blowing out the candles. It is always a given, a birthday does not go past without singing, applause and well wishes. However, for my brother it is a bit different. His birthday is at the tail end of a ton of birthdays so he inadvertently gets the shaft. It might be his unassuming personality that leads others to believe that he wouldn’t mind so much if we didn’t have a big hoorah for him.  Men really could care a less about that stuff right? 

     So, last week when his birthday came, no one thought it was a big deal that there was no cake, no eats and no candles to blow out. A few pecks on the cheek and some lottery tickets thrown into a card seemed appropriate enough. As he walked out of my yard, I saw the light. Maybe, for once he would like to be celebrated, he did do time growing up with four sisters who would have walked out in a storm if their birthdays were not acknowledged.

     “We should have got him a cake,” I said to his wife. Within minutes, we planned an impromptu birthday party that was held at my parents’ kitchen table to honor my brother. We ordered pizza and his wife ran for a cake. After we inhaled the food, it was time for the cake and candles. When the cake was placed in front of him, his celebration turned comical. His birthday cake had a giant leprechaun sitting upon the icing with the words Happy St. Patrick’s Day written underneath. The only candles we could find were a pack of Hanukah candles my mother purchased from a yard sale. It wouldn’t be half as funny except we are an Italian catholic family. Placing Jewish holiday candles upon a cake with a saint’s name on it seemed a bit out there.

     There was something on the kitchen table for every holiday except a birthday; we had the St. Patrick’s Day cake, The Hanukah candles, a Halloween dishcloth (we used to wipe up a spill) and some bunny decorations. It took us a minute to regain our composure and catch our breath from laughing so hard, but somehow we all managed to belt out a great rendition of Happy Birthday.

     We are not the Joneses, no one needs to try and keep up with this family but there is no other family I would want to be a part of. My brother did not get a fancy cake or hundreds of guests, but his birthday will forever remain one of my favorite memories. I don’t know what he wished for that night when blowing out his Hanukah/Birthday candles but I know I wished for many more of those happy birthday’s to come, I’ll even take a cake with a leprechaun, after all leprechauns symbolize good luck.