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Remember every choice has a consequence. You may kid yourself by convincing yourself that a bad choice feels right. The bad choices are the easiest ones to make. It’s the right choices that feels like work.

You can fool some people but there are others who will always know your true intentions. Often, they are the ones that keep quiet.

Don’t fool yourself, you are not fooling them.

We are a funny breed. We connect on all different levels and bond over a myriad of things. There are those that share their secrets too easily, others that would never discuss issues of real human substance with you, some that share other’s secrets too quickly and one’s that truly listen when you talk and really won’t tell a soul when you ask them not to.

I have discovered that life is much more enriching when you really learn to love others despite all of their shortcomings and recognize parts of yourself within them. There comes a time in everyone’s life that we celebrate laughter, suffer from guilt, reminisce about childhood, endure sorrow and reflect on who we are and how we came to be.

Life is not about the dollars made, the clothes bought, the title or position, it is about the connections we make along the way.

I am honored to say I have made friends with all sorts of people who have all kinds of stories. I keep a part of each of them in my heart. They have many different faces, practice different religions and experienced various upbringings, yet I share something with all of them. Each of them may know something about me that another doesn’t but only because there is something about them that brings out a part of me that I am willing to share. I may not be able to share everything with everyone but everything I share with another is true and sincere. Listening to another helps you discover who you are and if you don’t take time to engage in relationships then you may forever be lost.

 

Everyone reading this blog knows someone or of someone that died. We all grieve at some point, it’s one of life’s guarantees. There are supposedly stages of grieving and a process that individuals go through that eventually leads them to acceptance. Many of you know I lost my father recently and to be honest I could write a blog a day about him for the rest of my life and still never get sick of writing about him.

Lisa Williams was in our area earlier this week. My sisters, a friend and her mother and myself decided to go. Lisa is a medium/clairvoyant who claims she can speak to spirits. I was raised that you should not believe in psychics or fortune tellers and should not consult them with concerns about the future. I want to say upfront I agree with this. The future is not ours to see and if it was, I don’t want someone else telling me what mine will be. I am however a very spiritual being and believe that once we die our spirit goes to a different dimension which I happen to believe is heaven or the roads to heaven. I believe because we are all of spirit there is a way to connect with the energy of those who passed, because, the spirit doesn’t die. Which is what Lisa Williams does.

I promise at a later time, I will devote a blog to the evening spent with Lisa Williams, my father came through and in a big way. I am a very symbolic person and I do not believe in Coincidence. To me all things happen for a reason and All Things Are Possible With God! After my father’s death, I looked for signs that he was okay or just reassurances that he was still with us in spirit. I found many.

One that I will share today is the deliverance of Honeysuckle. My father loved honeysuckle and when my sister and I were little girls he would take us to the honeysuckle bush in his backyard, pull off the bud and tell us we can sample the sap it produced. It didn’t have much of a taste but it was certainly sweet in a smooth way. Fast-forward thirty years, we are sitting in his hospital room, he just died and I whisper to my older sister, “I wish I asked Daddy what his favorite flower was.” I had forgotten about his love of the honeysuckle. After I returned home I cried all night into the early morning hours. Day was just about to break and I walked into my backyard. I looked up into the sky and just stared hoping I would see some type of sign from him. I knew our bond was strong enough to cross a universe and I was expecting to see something. I wasn’t expecting to smell something.

A breeze blew past me and an overwhelming smell enveloped me. I sniffed at the air, I knew the smell was familiar but I couldn’t recall what it was. The realization of what it was spun my head around, I looked into his backyard (we were neighbors), and there in full bloom was his honeysuckle bush. I immediately knew that it was his energy I  felt. He was letting me know his favorite flower by wrapping the scent around me. A feeling of elation zipped through my body and I was certain that we connected. I don’t need science to prove it for me, that’s the nice thing about faith, once you have it you believe.

I am sure many people have had similar occurrences and maybe some feel funny about sharing them because they are afraid that the skeptics will take away from the greatness of that moment. The purpose of this blog post is to encourage others to share their experiences, signs or connections they received from loved ones who have passed. Please leave a comment if you have had an experience of your own. I would love to read about it.

The best thing you can do to make sure you remember a moment, a day, a year, or a lifetime is take pictures. There is nothing like flipping through photographs. As many of you know, I lost my father recently. Every time I find a new picture of him, a surge runs through my body and I feel comforted. When the pictures were taken, I knew one day I would appreciate them. I love that I can still see his smile and feel his essence. I never realized what kind eyes he had until now. His windows to his soul were welcoming and I now understand why so many were drawn to him.

Take time to grab a camera. Capture life as it is happening so the moments you and your loved ones created, can be remembered.

 

 

I watched intently as he held out his large black hand. He looked at the girl and she knew. She knew he offered her love and protection. She would be safe with him no matter what. No one would ever harm her as long as he was around.

In a blink of an eye, the one who gave the girl a sense of security was gone, never to return. Did he know his time was coming? Could he sense her love for him? Was he scared? If he was he did not show it, perhaps it was another form of protection, emotional instead of physical.

Tears flooded my cheeks and my body trembled with sadness as I watched the giant ape fall from the sky. His eyes searched one last time for the one he so adored. His eyes scanned the crowd until they locked with hers. No words were spoken but I knew they said goodbye.

I was five years old; I cried and cried and cried when King Kong died

Twenty seven years later King Kong was making a return to the box office and I told my father we were going to go. I assured myself that this time I was not going to cry. I was not that little girl anymore. As I watched the large beast fall quickly from the sky my heart moved into my throat and I could feel my eyes begin to swell from tears. I lost control of my emotions, I wasn’t crying, I was blubbering. What was it about this beast that tugged at the strings of my heart?

I drifted off to sleep with King Kong on my mind. It saddened me tremendously to think that he was gone. When I awoke he was still in my thoughts and I decided it was time to try and figure out what his hold on me was.

King Kong is a Soul Story, a tale about two beings connecting without words and having an understanding of each other without needing to verbalize it.

What in my life represented that same tale? A soft voice whispered into my mind-“Your father.” It began to make sense, to me King Kong symbolized my daddy. My father was large in stature, but gentle, he was my protector, the one person I knew would never let me down. He said the words many times but I didn’t need to hear them to know he loved me and would die for me or any of his children if it ever came to that. He was a man that could command fear from the ugliest of people, but he never actually did any harm. Knowing this, I felt safe, just like the girl King Kong loved. When he fell from the building her security blanket fell too. No one could ever take his place.

I came to this realization years ago, long before my father died. Though I knew the day would eventually come, there was something about him that made me believe he was invincible and could never be taken down.

I will forever mourn the loss of my father but I’m thankful to have had one as great as him. King Kong fell from the building but his soul rose to a higher more magnificent place. My Kong may have left me in life but will forever remain in my heart.

 

     Birthdays in my family are reason to celebrate. Another excuse to hang with the family, eat some good food, share a lot of laughs and make some silent wishes when blowing out the candles. It is always a given, a birthday does not go past without singing, applause and well wishes. However, for my brother it is a bit different. His birthday is at the tail end of a ton of birthdays so he inadvertently gets the shaft. It might be his unassuming personality that leads others to believe that he wouldn’t mind so much if we didn’t have a big hoorah for him.  Men really could care a less about that stuff right? 

     So, last week when his birthday came, no one thought it was a big deal that there was no cake, no eats and no candles to blow out. A few pecks on the cheek and some lottery tickets thrown into a card seemed appropriate enough. As he walked out of my yard, I saw the light. Maybe, for once he would like to be celebrated, he did do time growing up with four sisters who would have walked out in a storm if their birthdays were not acknowledged.

     “We should have got him a cake,” I said to his wife. Within minutes, we planned an impromptu birthday party that was held at my parents’ kitchen table to honor my brother. We ordered pizza and his wife ran for a cake. After we inhaled the food, it was time for the cake and candles. When the cake was placed in front of him, his celebration turned comical. His birthday cake had a giant leprechaun sitting upon the icing with the words Happy St. Patrick’s Day written underneath. The only candles we could find were a pack of Hanukah candles my mother purchased from a yard sale. It wouldn’t be half as funny except we are an Italian catholic family. Placing Jewish holiday candles upon a cake with a saint’s name on it seemed a bit out there.

     There was something on the kitchen table for every holiday except a birthday; we had the St. Patrick’s Day cake, The Hanukah candles, a Halloween dishcloth (we used to wipe up a spill) and some bunny decorations. It took us a minute to regain our composure and catch our breath from laughing so hard, but somehow we all managed to belt out a great rendition of Happy Birthday.

     We are not the Joneses, no one needs to try and keep up with this family but there is no other family I would want to be a part of. My brother did not get a fancy cake or hundreds of guests, but his birthday will forever remain one of my favorite memories. I don’t know what he wished for that night when blowing out his Hanukah/Birthday candles but I know I wished for many more of those happy birthday’s to come, I’ll even take a cake with a leprechaun, after all leprechauns symbolize good luck.

Turn up the music, feel the beat, don’t try to stop yourself just do what comes naturally, Dance! I love to watch people dance. Music produces an electrical current in our bodies which causes our shoulders to raise up and down, our legs to move back and forth and our arms to sway erratically. We groove to the rhythmic sound and allow ourselves to become part of the melody. Our body finds harmony with the beat. Dancing is a beautiful thing, whether you’re good at it or not. It’s a way for children to release their silly’s and adults to get rid of some stress. Even infants who cannot yet walk find themselves swaying their tush back and forth to the music. A dance floor of dancing people is a room of happy people. This past weekend I was at a wedding and I danced my butt off. Well, not actually, but it felt that way the next morning. The dance floor becomes a meet and greet.  Strangers dance up to you so they don’t have to dance alone. Friends encourage each other to enter the middle of a circle and show what they got. And Brides step onto the floor wearing their best accessory, their smile.

Reflecting back on my night I realized there are lots of categories dancers could fall in.  You got your Woo Hoo’s-the circle of older ladies that dance carefree and loud, shouting out joyful expressions with each groove. They can also be the mothers who are high-fiving each other on the dance floor because they finally got a night out. You have your two sets of Bumps and Grinds- The first set is the younger girls who dance together hoping to show off their sexy side. They use their girlfriends in front of them like a pole a stripper would use to dance. The more their girlfriends cheer them on they sexier they dance. The second set of Bumps and Grinds are the couple that uses dancing as a way to ravish each other, without actually ravishing each other. There are the Elegants- the couple who would never touch each other inappropriately on the dance floor. Their moves are in sync and their eyes stay lovingly fixated on each other. Every move appears to be choreographed and you can bet they have taken some type of ballroom dance class. There are the Awkwards- Their moves are a bit more forced and they lack the ability to really let go and get lost in the music. It is obvious they are concentrating more on how others perceive them than they are on dancing. A dance floor wouldn’t be a dance floor without the Circle About’s-these are the dancers that use every inch of the floor. They circle in and out, maneuvering their way around, oblivious to the other dancers. They are fun to watch and make the people sitting down want to at least give dancing a shot. I love to watch all of these dancers because for a small moment in time I get to witness people enjoying life. Rejoicing and using the flexibility our bodies provide. But this moment can also be bittersweet. While so many of us are laughing, dancing, and using our bodies, their are other people watching, wishing, and remembering how it felt to dance. At some point our bodies will fail us and we will no longer be able to race up to the dance floor and let it all out. We will be forced to watch from afar. On that day we will want to remember that we danced while we could. So, no matter what type of dancer you are embrace it. For there will be a day that we no longer dance but knowing we did will make that day a bit easier.

A person never realizes how much time has gone by until they see the child they once knew become an adult. As a child I never looked at anyone and thought has it been that long? Probably, because I was the one people were looking at thinking that. I was the child. Now that I am the adult I find myself coming across this situation more and more. Growing up everyone looks the same to you. You don’t see the aging process happening, it’s pretty much smoke and mirrors. The aging isn’t as obvious in a person older than you as it in a person younger. A few years back I taught catechism to five fifth graders. They were sweet and their looks were innocent. This past summer I ran into a mother of one of the kids and asked “How is Anthony?” She pointed behind her and said “Here he comes now.” I was expecting to see the eleven year old cutie pie that sat across the table from me.  He was now taller than me and his face was no longer a little boy’s it was a young man’s. He smiled and waved, I’m sure he saw that I was surprised. I knew time passed but I guess I didn’t realize just how much. I look at my own children who are growing up right in front of my eyes and try to capture who they are today. Because I know tomorrow they are closer to being that child- whom someone else looks at and receives a reality check.  If we could just preserve their youth in some type of time capsule for the moment we long for them to be children again. We could flick a switch and make it happen. I now understand the advice I received when I became a first time mother, “Honey don’t wish away their childhood because when it’s gone you will be wishing for it to return.” Though my children are still young I know they have already grown too quickly. If they are getting older that means I am too.  As a child I never thought life went by half as fast as it does now. If only we had a pause button we could enjoy it longer. But then we would never get the chance to move forward. We would be forever pausing or rewinding but never advancing and what fun would that be?  

I listened to a song the other day and thought -this would be a good song to hear on a bad day. The kind of song that makes you feel like somewhere someone knew how you were feeling and they arranged for this combination of soul touching lyrics and spirit warming melody to be played for you. After concentrating on the words your mood begins to lighten and you find yourself feeling okay. Okay, because you were touched through music and it changed the way you were thinking. So, today I decided to send out a song that someone somewhere might need to hear.  

If life is hard today – wait for it to get better.

Thirteen Things about Maribeth

I’m about to celebrate another birthday. For those of you who don’t know much about us Virgo’s I decided I would dedicate this Thursday Thirteen to Virgo Facts. I consider myself a TRUE Virgo and have yet to meet another Virgo I didn’t like. Please share your sign in the comments section. Give us a trait you consider true to your zodiac.

1…. Virgo’s are very analytical (For me this is completely true. I analyze everything. I am the type that will say something, go home and think about what I said and analyze it for hours. I wonder if it was interpreted the way I meant it to be or taken the wrong way. I dissect everything -I probably could have been a good detective.

2…Virgo’s can be fussy and considered worriers. Yes, Yes, Yes, I am a worrier. I think it plays directly with being analytical. Because I analyze everything I worry about the things I am analyzing. “Don’t worry about it Mar,” has been said to me many times

3…Virgo’s are known to be organized- I always liked to think of myself as organized in an unorganized way. But I find the older I get the more organization I need. I’m even starting to worry that I think about organizing too much. 🙂
4…Virgo’s are patient- I absolutely am, I definitely have uttered “Patience is a virtue,” lots of times. After all if we are inpatient the only thing it gets us is a bad mood.

5…Problem Solvers…Virgo’s are known to stay calm and rational when trouble arises. We tend to think about the solution rather than getting all dramatic. I am not a drama queen (maybe once a month at a certain unpleasant time-other than that no)

6…Virgo’s are earth elements. I am very earthy, I like nature especially trees and clouds and can appreciate the beauty they bring into our lives

7…Virgo’s are good at giving advice-I think I would have to ask someone who received advice from me to answer this one. But I would like to think do give good advice. I try to be objective when giving advice

8…Virgo’s are perfectionists-Me again. I have to be the best I could possibly be at whatever I try in order for me to be happy with myself.

9…Careers suited to this sign are Doctors(not me)Nurses(if nursing a sick kid counts then yep),Psychologist(not officially but have offered my ear many times),Teacher(I taught catechism),Writer(Hey that’s me) and Critic(Me too, I’m my own worst critic)

10…Famous Virgo’s- (Stephen King-fellow writer love that), Mother Theresa (I’d love to follow in her footsteps), Sophia Loren (Italian-me too, hope to look like her when I reach her age), Mickey Mouse (He never ages-I’d like his secret)

11…Opposite Sign to Virgo is Pisces (This might be why my younger sister and I butt heads occasionally, but I love her anyway)

12…Virgo’s are full of sass (I agree, the sassier the better, it makes the day much more fun)
13…Virgo’s like to serve (I would much rather be doing something for someone than someone doing something for me)

Hope your enjoyed your education on Virgo’s. Don’t forget to let the readers know your sign and a trait you possess known to that sign.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!