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We all have a demon. Something or someone lurking inside of us begging us to go the wrong way, do the wrong things or make the wrong choices. What the demon tempts us with may differ but his intention is the same, he wants us to fall. After reviewing some of my writings, I stumbled upon something I wrote a long time ago. It’s a bit dark but it came from within.

I’m not even sure where I would market a poem like this, so I thought I would paste it on my blog.

When the demon strikes, strike back by refusing to give in to the temptation being dangled in front of you.

The Demon

Please help me

My mind is consumed

With images of you

I blink, scream,sleep,

Try to erase the view.

A minute, a second, a year

My soul is shaking, I have changed

I scream out, save me, I live in fear

A moment has passed, I tried to think,

Of something else, something right

You are the quench of my thirst

I must take a drink, but I won’t

I can’t, it’s poison, it will instantly kill

The life I have been living,

Why am I seeking this thrill?

The demon is axing away, chopping

At my very core, laughing, haunting

Tempting with no sign of stopping.

He takes on an innocent form

Waving behind you, commanding the storm

Only when I am left crying on the floor

Knowing I destroyed me, will he shut the door.

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Thirteen Things about MaribethI gave up chocolate for lent. This is a big deal for a chocoholic. I am used to waking up and having a small piece of chocolate, it’s how I welcome a new day. So, for the next month or so I will be living free of my chocolate addiction, which makes me think about all of the chocolate candy bars I have loved or tried in the past. This week I am writing about thirteen candy bars.
What’s your favorite?1…Heath Bar- Yum-love this chocolate covered toffee. It’s a great candy bar to mix into ice cream for a special summer treat.

2…Kit Kat- Who doesn’t love a Kit Kat. To save calories, I buy the mini ones and only eat one of the sticks.

3…Snickers- Chocolate, caramel, peanuts, sinful.

4…Chunky- Ooh, a great combination of lots of good things. I have to say though, Cadbury makes a Fruit and Nut bar that is similar to the Chunky and I think I like it more.

5… Whatchamacalit – This bar was hugely popular when I was a little girl and was definitely yummelicious.

6… Mr. Goodbar- I’m a sucker for anything chocolate with nuts and this one definitely satisfies by sweet and salty tooth.

7… Nutrageous- Chocolate, Peanuts and Peanut butter-scrumptious.

8… Mars Bar- another one that was popular when I was younger, very good but not my favorite.

9… Twix- Satisfies a sweet tooth.

10… Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups- So good.

11… Bar None- I loved this bar, I don’t know why it was nixed.

12… 100 Grand Bar- I remember as a young girl I actually thought these bars cost a lot of money.

13… Hershey’s with almonds- I am a PA resident, I have to include this famous bar.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thirteen Things about Maribeth/strong>

I gave up chocolate for lent. This is a big deal for a chocoholic. I am used to waking up and having a small piece of chocolate, it’s how I welcome a new day. So, for the next month or so I will be living free of my chocolate addiction, which makes me think about all of the chocolate candy bars I have loved or tried in the past. This week I am writing about thirteen candy bars.
What’s your favorite?

1…Heath Bar- Yum-love this chocolate covered toffee. It’s a great candy bar to mix into ice cream for a special summer treat.

2…Kit Kat- Who doesn’t love a Kit Kat. To save calories, I buy the mini ones and only eat one of the sticks.

3…Snickers- Chocolate, caramel, peanuts, sinful.

4…Chunky- Ooh, a great combination of lots of good things. I have to say though, Cadbury makes a Fruit and Nut bar that is similar to the Chunky and I think I like it more.

5… Whatchamacalit – This bar was hugely popular when I was a little girl and was definitely yummelicious.

6… Mr. Goodbar- I’m a sucker for anything chocolate with nuts and this one definitely satisfies by sweet and salty tooth.

7… Nutrageous- Chocolate, Peanuts and Peanut butter-scrumptious.

8… Mars Bar- another one that was popular when I was younger, very good but not my favorite.

9… Twix- Satisfies a sweet tooth.

10… Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups- So good.

11… Bar None- I loved this bar, I don’t know why it was nixed.

12… 100 Grand Bar- I remember as a young girl I actually thought these bars cost a lot of money.

13… Hershey’s with almonds- I am a PA resident, I have to include this famous bar.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

In relation to my last two posts, I decided to pick a Red Hot Chili Pepper’s song for Friday’s Song.

Hollywood, it seems so glamorous. For some of us, it’s the over the rainbow, the place only the lucky get to be. Stardom can be lonely and what we perceive as fabulous can quickly turn into dangerous.

Tell me what you think. Remember, this is intended to be a meme, so if you have  a song you would like to put up direct us to it.  

Happy Friday! 

Tell Me Baby -Lyrics 

They come from every state to find
Some dreams were meant to be declined
Tell the man what did you have in mind
What have you come to do

No turning water into wine
No learning while you’re in the line
I’ll take you to the broken sign
You see these lights are blue

Come and get it
Lost it at the city limit
Say goodbye
‘Cause they will find a way to trim it
Everybody
Lookin’ for a silly gimmick
Gotta get away
Can’t take it for another minute

This town is made of many things
Just look at what the current brings
So high it’s only promising
This place was made on you

Tell me baby what’s your story
Where you come from
And where you wanna go this time oh
Tell me lover are you lonely
The thing we need is
Never all that hard to find oh
Tell me baby what’s your story
Where do you come from
And where you wanna go this time oh
You’re so lovely are you lonely
Giving up on the innocence you left behind

Some claim to have the fortitude
Too shrewd to blow the interlude
Sustaining pain to set a mood
Step out to be renewed

I’ll move you like a baritone
Jungle Brothers on the microphone
Getting over with an undertone
It’s time to turn to stone

Chitty chitty baby
When your nose is in the nitty gritty
Life could be a little sweet
But life could be a little shitty
What a pity
Boston and a Kansas city
Looking for a hundred
But you only ever found a fifty

Three fingers in the honeycomb
You ring just like a xylophone
Devoted to the chromosome
The day that you left home

Tell me baby what’s your story
Where you come from
And where you wanna go this time oh
Tell me lover are you lonely
The thing we need is
Never all that hard to find oh
Tell me baby what’s your story
Where do you come from
And where you wanna go this time oh
You’re so lovely are you lonely
Giving up on the innocence you left behind

Tell me baby what’s your story
Where you come from
And where you wanna go this time oh
Tell me lover are you lonely
The thing we need is
Never all that far to find oh
Tell me baby what’s your story
Where do you come from
And where you wanna go this time oh
You’re so lovely are you lonely
Giving up on the innocence you left behind

Thirteen Things about YOUR NAMEMy previous post talked about the premature death of Heath Ledger. This Thursday I have decided to write about thirteen celebrities that died too young. It’s a darker Thursday Thirteen this week for me but it’s what’s been on my mind. It’s unfortunate that drugs played a role in many of these young stars deaths.

If you are interested in more details regarding these celebrities visit Wikipedia.com

1… River Phoenix (Famous movies included, Stand by Me and Running on Empty. -two of my favorites) River was born 8-23-70 and died 10-31-93. Cause of death, speedball (heroin and cocaine) overdose.

2… Chris Farley (Famous for appearing on Saturday Night Live) I loved his skit Fat man in a little coat. He was born 2-15-64 and died 12-18-97. Cause of death, speedball overdose. We named our dog after Farley. He was a hilarious comedian.

3…John Lennon (Member of the Beatles) I loved his song Woman and Imagine- He was born 10-9-40 and died 12-8-80. He was murdered in front of his home.

4…Cass Elliot (Aka Mama Cass-member of The Mama’s and Papa’s) I love her voice! She was born 9-19-41 and died 7-29-74. Cause of death, heart attack. Rumors circled around that she died choking on a ham sandwich but they are said to be false.

5… Jayne Mansfield-(Actress)-mother to Mariska Hargitay(Law and Order) She was born on 4-19-33 and died 6-29-67. Cause of death, car crash.

6… Elvis Presley- (Cultural Icon) everyone knows who Elvis was. I still love the song “I can’t help falling in love with you.” He was born 1-8-35 and died 8-16-77. Cause of death, heart attack.

7… Aliyah- (R&B singer). Beautiful, beautiful girl. She was born on 1-16-79 and died 8-25-2001. Cause of death, plane crash.

8… John Belushi (Comedic actor-Member of Saturday Night Live’s cast and starred in Animal House.) He was born 1-24-49 and died 3-5-82. Cause of death. speedballs.

9… James Dean (Famous for starring in Rebel without a Cause.) An absolutely gorgeous man! He was born 2-8-31 and died 9-30-55. Cause of death, car crash.

10… Janis Joplin (Music Icon) I love a lot of her songs, especially Piece of My Heart. She was born 1-19-43 and died 10-4-1970. Cause of death, drug overdose.

11… Marilyn Monroe (Actress/Sex symbol) Her most identifiable trademarks were her blonde hair, white dress and beauty mark. She was born 6-1-26 and died 8-5-62. Cause of death ruled as “Probable suicide.” Many conspiracy theories floated around this one.

12… Gilda Radner (Another Saturday Night Live cast member) Wildly funny! She was born 6-28-46 and died 5-20-89. Cause of death, ovarian cancer.

13… Ottis Redding (Sang-Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay) 9-9-41 and died 12-10-67. Cause of death, plane crash.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

“Pathetic,” the sound of my husband’s voice uttering this word woke me from a deep sleep. “What?” I mumbled back. He could not believe that he heard the alarm clock music blaring from my daughter’s room down the hall and around the corner and I didn’t. At some point during the night he was asked to go sleep in her room (probably because of a nightmare). It’s he who sets the alarm clock, so in situations like this morning he expects me to wake him once it goes off. I do not think this is too much to ask and I would if I heard it the way he heard it. You see, I have a problem. The music of the alarm clock becomes part of my dreams. I have danced many times to the music that was supposed to be waking me up. There is always a situation in my dream happening at the exact moment the alarm clock goes off. For example, I’m at a party talking to some friends, in the midst of our conversation music gets turned on (actually the alarm clock) a friend smiles and says “Let’s Dance.” We be-bop through my dream laughing, grooving and spinning about through random rooms in a house I have never been in. I have also slowed dance with a handsome man (sometimes my husband, sometimes not-Hey I can’t help what I dream can I?). It’s not just the music that makes its way into my dreams it’s the news as well. Last week a male reporter was talking about how a horse in New York City got spooked and ran into a tree and died. The information being told became part of my dream and it haunted me for hours after I woke up. I dreamt of the crash. I’m no psychic and I’m sure the crash I saw in my dream was not the actual scene of the horse’s demise but it still felt very real. Years ago we lived in a small apartment on a busy street. Our walls were thin and there wasn’t much that couldn’t be heard. You would think I would have heard a fire truck’s siren going off across the street. I didn’t. I woke up the next morning went out on my back porch and started talking to the neighbor. It was then that I was told of the fire across the street and how the trucks were there for most of the night extinguishing the flames. What was scarier was my husband slept through it too. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a dream that night of myself wearing suspenders and big boots standing on a ladder with a hose in my hand. Dreaming to me is like a drug; once I start I don’t want to stop, unless of course it’s a nightmare. I think dreaming is similar to what heaven or hell will be. We are moving about through worlds, dealing with situations, dancing like fools and having conversations with others. But it’s all done on a spiritual level. I like to think if we can live in our dreams than we must exist after death. And thinking like this makes the idea of death a little bit easier to swallow.

I listened to a song the other day and thought -this would be a good song to hear on a bad day. The kind of song that makes you feel like somewhere someone knew how you were feeling and they arranged for this combination of soul touching lyrics and spirit warming melody to be played for you. After concentrating on the words your mood begins to lighten and you find yourself feeling okay. Okay, because you were touched through music and it changed the way you were thinking. So, today I decided to send out a song that someone somewhere might need to hear.  

If life is hard today – wait for it to get better.

I am proud to say I am an optimist. I see my glass half full. If it’s half full, there is more to drink. Yeah life could be tough at times and certainly situations happen to all of us that we wish hadn’t. But in the big picture we are a lucky few. I once read that if you have spare change you are richer than most people in this world. Think about that for a second. More people than not have nothing or close to it. There are thousands maybe even millions that live in extreme poverty. My heart breaks every time I see a clip of a young child starving, standing in line for a cup of rice. They are not complaining that flies are circling their lips as they try to take a mouthful of mush. They are grateful to have something to eat. We all have bad days and there are times I myself can become pessimistic but on those days I try to remind myself just what I do have. I have a home to shelter me. My home is no mansion and can use a lot of work but it keeps me safe. I have choices when I open my refrigerator, sometimes the choices are less than the week before but still there is food. I have a cookie jar filled with loose coins that I can cash in on a rainy day. I have friends that I can call or write to when I need to vent. Even if the topic I am venting about is so silly I have people who will listen. I have a direct line with heaven and I call it everyday. Though I don’t get a verbal response there are many times I know my prayers were answered. I accept when the answer was not the one I was hoping for. I will not judge a person because I have not walked in their shoes. I give them the benefit of the doubt when they are miserable and hope there are valid reasons for them choosing that mood. I know there could be many reasons behind their behaviors including depression. I acknowledge this as a true sickness and sympathize with someone battling the terrible disease.  But for those of you that are crabby simply because you like to make other people miserable I plead with you to step outside of yourself and watch from a bystanders eye how you look.  If you see your glass as half empty, pour it out and fill it back up. There is but one life, at the end of the road you may look back and regret not recognizing the blessings you received. Call me a fool for seeing the bright side, but if living on the dark side is the alternative I will take it as a compliment. My cup is half full; there is room for much more. 

My girlfriend recently opened a Shoppe. It’s quaint, eclectic and most of all fabulous. It has always been her dream and now it is her reality. It’s the type of shop you go in, look around a hundred times and still discover new items. On my most recent trip I found my monkey. It was on a coffee table behind a vase. I think he was hiding. There was something about him that instantly caught my attention. He’s carved out of dark mahogany wood which happens to me my favorite; I love the richness in color. He’s in a sitting position but his back is hunched. There is a smooth pouch on his lap. It reminds me of a kangaroo’s pouch. One arm falls to his side and circles around the bottom, no hand is visible. The design of the piece is fluent so you don’t really miss the hand. The other arm curves into the pouch as if the monkey is reaching inside for something. His face is serene. Eyes are closed, mouth is relaxed and he appears as if he is meditating. “I love him,” I called out to my friend. I held him for a moment and thought about where I would put him, “I just don’t know where I would put him.” I proceeded to say.  My girlfriend’s mother was standing behind the counter and laughed when I said this. “If you really love something you will find a place to put it.” Her words stuck with me. Instead of setting the monkey down, I kept him with me as I browsed.  I ended up purchasing him and knew the mother was right. I would find him a perfect spot. On the drive home I chatted with my sister-in-law about my monkey. “I think monkeys symbolize something,” I said. We both racked our brains but couldn’t recall what, if anything, they represented.  It was when I got home and spoke to my older sister the light bulb came on. I was so excited to show her my monkey and see what she thought. She held him for a second and studied him a bit. She handed him back and asked “What, do you have a monkey on your back?”  It was in that moment I knew why I was drawn to him. I recently quit smoking, which was no easy feat. I have always considered it my demon. I have heard other’s refer to the addiction as having a monkey on your back.  Aha, I was taking the monkey off of my back and setting him on the table to act as my reminder. I found him a new spot. I was still curious to know what a monkey symbolized. I searched until I found. A monkey symbolizes benevolence or charity and can ward off evil spirits. How perfect, my monkey is no longer my demon but the very thing that scares the demon away. There will be days I want to give in to my craving but hopefully my monkey sitting upon my coffee table will remind me of the great deal of time I spent trying to get him off of my back. It would be silly to ask him to jump back on and besides now he gives my home some character.